2008-12-09 - 7:29 p.m.
Okay, last post I did I spoke about my mother breaking her leg.. She's still in the bed, and I have to pretty much do everything for her. Make her meals, get her something to drink, empty her.. lets just not go there, too disgusting, even for me.
Anyway.. Aside from her, all is NOT well in my life. For one, I'm trying to quit smoking, and the doctor puts me on Chantix. Okay, first couple days.. nothing. A week later? I'm having full-blown panic attacks that last all day, suicidal thoughts (They were already there, but now they're just getting worse and worse(, extreme vertigo, extreme mood swings, paranoia, anger and rage, uncontrollable crying, chest pains, respiratory problems, nosebleeds... The list goes on and on. I don't think there's an end to it, to be honest.
Suffice it to say, I'm f***ing sick, and hope that life does not get any worse than this, because if it does.. I'll just leave that sentance there, because I don't want to say it, and you don't want to hear it.
